birthday update

Thank you all for the birthday wishes ...

So, how did my night end? Hubby came home early & said put on some semi casual clothes & lets go to dinner. Of course I knew where we were going all morning cause he had asked me what would be a nice place for dinner & I said Olive Garden. =D We don't g o often cause it's so good it's always a good 15-30 minu. wait ... that's on the slow days. Hubby called & asked if we could get our name on the list & they told him they didn't take reservations but that we would be able to get right in cause they aren't busy until about 7 & it was a little before 5. So, we get there & there are people waiting outside for a table ... I knew it ... anyway, DH goes in for what I think to put our name on the list but he comes right back out & said lets go. He dropped the line about it being my birthday & not wanting me to have to wait so they said no problem & took us right in. I must admit ... I felt a little bad for the people we got to go in before but it did make me feel special!

 

OMG, dinner was so awesome! I had 1 bread stick, a small salad, a few pieces of bread chips with melted cheese on it, lasagna (didn't eat it all) and the best part ... they brought me a cake. We cut the thing in half so we could share then boxed the other half. That sucker was so rich ... I wish I would have had a glass of milk. Alas, I had to make due with my tea & water.

After dinner we headed to the mall to pick up my gift. =D Here's what they got me.

 

<-- 1 k diamond earings. This suckers are HUGE. They actually make my ears hang when I'm wearing them . Gonna take some time to get used to them.

The rest I got to pick out myself!

  <-- This is an awesome shampoo if you love scent shampoos like me. You can use it as bibble bath, body wash or shampoo. Now if I had long hair again I wouldn't use it for shampoo cause I would need cream rinse but since I have short hair it's great!

<-- Some people are shoeoholics ... I'm a purseoholic. I can't help myself. I decided I wanted a new purse for the fall & I love animal print so this was perfect for me!

<-- My fountain of youth! Since using this product you wouldn't believe how many people tell me that I still look like I'm in my late 20's. My brother who is 3 years young actually looks like my older brother. Pretty awesome feeling.

Then we were homeward bound ... maybe boring to some but all I wanted to do by this time was snuggle in bed & watch my favorite shows. I actually got to be in control of the remote. How lucky is that?

I was MIA

I have no real excuse for not logging in. I have been a little busy but not busy enough to have an excuse for not updating this thing.

The weekend wasn't to bad on my diet. Took my dad out for breakfast at a local eatery ... I chose scrambled eggs with ham & onion in it. Sooooo yummy. I wasn't able to eat it all cause it's a really big plate. Says it has 3 eggs scrambled but I swear there must be at least 5 in it. Durning breakfast my mom called to wish my dad a happy birthday. When she heard he was with me she asked to talk to me. Wanted to make for sure I got the card she mailed (still in shock over that one) and wanted to wish me happy birthday early cause as she put it " I'll probably be to busy or forget to call on your birthday" Gee thanks ma. Actually it was expected ... I had a pithy comment ready for her ... it doesn't matter, I will probably be to busy to answer the phone anyway! =D Take that & stick it up your butt. he he he  I guess you can tell there is no love loss there.

Anyway, after breakfast we (kids, DH, & I) went on a trial walk. 2.4 miles ... it was really nice, sort of slow but oh so enjoyable. I have pics of the day in What Chaps my Ass if you want to see them.

Lunch was O'Charly's. OMG ... I forgot how expensive that place was but it was nice & I did pretty good when I ordered. I did have 2 yeast rolls but I only ordered a ceasar salad with grilled chicken .... and guess what? Dressing on the side. Yeah me!

On top of the walk I also poped in my Biggest Loser video & did the boot camp workout. Ouch ... my shoulders were on fire & sadly ... I couldn't do all the shoulder moves cause it was too painful. This morning ... I'm sore all over. My chest is killing me from the push-ups & OMG  ... don't even want to talk about my bum.

This morning was a 1 mile walk & a weigh in. I'm down a bit but not where I want to be. I guess ant steps are better than elephant steps backwards huh? So now I'm 194.6 or .4 ... heck I don't know. My memory sucks on things like that. I take a pic & forget the rest.

Well, that's all for me tonight. Off to do some cleaning cause I ain't doing chit tomorrow but enjoy my birthday! Have a fabulous night. Hugs .... Emmi

Who watch Biggest Loser?

I loved last nights Biggest Loser ... the black team ... the renagades ... they rocked the show. The people on the show in addition to all the talk in the D-I-E-T group this morning made me want to pull out my BL videos.

I was pissed at first cause I couldn't get my living room DVD player to work. Kept telling me there was a disc error. Every disc I put in was an error. We paid so much damn money for the thing & then it wants to give me an error. I could have taken it to my bedroom but DH was in the room snoozing. He had to go to the field yesterday & stay over night. He could have slept but he had piss poor planning which required him & him alone to man the radios ever hour. Dumb Ass! Well, I went to get my workout clothes & noticed DH was up ... I did my workout in my bedroom. I was all fired up ... more than usual cause DH & I got into a little disagreement over this field problem. He almost didn't make it home this morning cause he was falling asleep at the wheel. His piss poor planning is what caused it. See I asked him who was gonna take over tonights duty since he wasn't ... he said another soldier. I inquired as to why him & this other guy couldn't have split the night & he comes back yelling at me cause the guy had to be up first thing this morning to teach a class. Uh hello ... one don't fluckin yell at me cause I don't need your shit ... two ... if he has to teach a class this morning then that means he's a teacher who will have to teach tomorrow morning too. So I said as much ... he yells at me again saying that it's his fault cause he's a piss poor planner. Gee ... I didn't even have to tell him this. I walked out cause I don't do well with yelling & fighting. I hear him yell at me ... sure walk away ... you always do. All I could do was go outside & let the steam flow out of me. I wanted to say ya know what buddy .... don't come home after a night with no sleep & bitch at me. It's your damn fault you didn't get any sleep not mine.

Oh well, saying it would just cause an argument ... more stress that I just don't need or want.

	Cal	Fiber	Fat	Carbs	Prtn
Regular Coffee, 4 cup (8 fl oz)	9	0	0	0	1
Cream substitute, Coffee-mate fat free, 2 tbsp	20	0	0	4	0
Curves Honey Crunch Cereal, 1.75 cup	333	9	2	79	7
	362	9	2	83	8
Curves Honey Crunch Cereal, 1.75 cup	333	9	2	79	7
	333	9	2	79	7
Bean With Ham Soup, 2 cup (8 fl oz)	462	22	17	54	25
Yellow Cornmeal, 0.5 cup	221	4	2	47	5
	683	27	19	101	30
Apples, fresh, 1 small (2-1/2" dia) (approx 4 per lb)	63	3	0	16	0
	63	3	0	16	0
	1,440	47	23	279	46
	1500 - 1800	25 - 35	30 - 50	251 - 362	60 - 195

I'm slightly lower in the calories department then I should be for 2 days in a row. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just can't seem to get my mind wrapped around food. I know I have to eat to lose but food is the last thing on my brain.

Well, my birthday is less than a week away & I doubt I will make it out of the 190's by then. Oh well ... I can shoot for my goal weight for my 26th birthday. <-- Whoopsie, mayjor type, thanks Michele for bringing this to my attention. I wish I was gonna be 26 but sadly ... I'll be 35. It's better than going to my grave as heavy as I am now right?!

That's all for me ... gonna og chug some water & shower my sweaty butt. Oh ... I ordered a book today;

From Publishers Weekly
Fitness guru Michaels, a fitness and life coach who has appeared on NBC's The Biggest Loser, brings her tough-love style to the pages of her first offering. For those familiar with Loser, Michael's no-excuses approach here may seem less intimidating than it does to those meeting her on television. She writes with an edge, warning readers that they cannot make excuses, they will work hard and they will suffer setbacks, but they will also change their lives for the better. Her "3-S" (Self, Science and Sweat) plan covers the mental and physical, and Michaels dedicates equal sections of the book to each. In Self, she announces to readers that she was an "overweight and unhappy teenager" who took charge of her life, challenging readers to do the same. While no book has the power to change a person, the tips Michaels provides-create a support system, keep a journal, change your self-talk-do. In Science, Michaels dispels common diet myths (skipping meals is best, diet pills work), provides recipes for meals and snacks and introduces the concept of fast-, slow- and balanced-oxidizers, which determines a person's ideal diet. The final Sweat chapters include easy-to-follow exercises accompanied by photos, and a five-day-per-week, 12-week fitness program centered on burn-and-tone cardio training. The book and coaching come relatively cheap, but to follow the program without substitution exercises, readers will need access to a gym or a weight machine. And, unfortunately, Michaels does not make house calls.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Publisher's Weekly
"While no book has the power to change a person, the tips Michaels provides...do."

10 Q & A

I got this from Lisa's journal.

1) What physical thing about you would you change ? 
My roadmapped belly!

 Question 2) Out of these emotions what percent would you rate yourself as it pertains to your everyday life equal to a 100 %

Happy 80%
Sad 10%

Angry 5 %
Depressed 5 %

Question 3) What is the worst pickup line a guy has ever used on you?

 Wow ... that's a nice ass ... I'd love to see it without those pants. I laughed at him & walked away!

Question 4) What 5 movies could you watch over and over?

1) Sweet Home Alabama
2) Dirty Dancing
3) Braveheart

4) The Lakehouse

5) The Wedding Date

Question 5) What best describes who you are?

1) mother hen
2) great listener
3) motivator
4) somewhat shy

Question 6 ) In a movie who would you want to play you?

Sandra Bullock or Ashley Judd. I just love everything these 2 women play in. I also love their outlook on life outside of the studios.

Question 7) How important is it for you to be liked by others ?

I hope I'm liked by others but if I'm not, I'm ok with it. As long as I have my husband & children I won't go crazy. I've been known to stop being friends with someone who lives their life poorly because I fear they will take me down with them.

Question 8) If you saw your best friend's girlfriend with another guy and they were kissing would you tell your best friend what you had seen ?

Maybe ... sometimes it's best to let the person get caught. Why make waves?

Question 9) What 2 musical artists are your favorites ?

Toby Keith & Maroon5

Question 10 ) If you had one wish, anything you like what would you wish for.

hmmm, I'm not gonna say world peace cause I don't think that's attainible. There has to be bad for their to be good. It's all about balance! So, I wish I was born with a smokin hot body. One that I didn't have to work at maintaining. I know ... really important stuff there huh?!

Is it all worth it?

EXERCISE MIN. CALS. BURNED             Dancing: Fast, ballet, twist 30 288   Dancing: Fast, ballet, twist 40 384   Walk 15 min/mile 15 108   Dancing: Fast, ballet, twist 25 240

I've got the exerciseing thing down with no problem. Biggest Loser has got nothing on me int hat department ... I can do the water with no problem at all but when it comes to food ... I just don't know what my problem is. I did manage to lose weight from last week. 196.4 this morning which puts me down about a pound. I need to stop looking at where I once was & go from where I am right now. I need to stop asking myself if it is all worth it. My days are spent exercising til I pretty much have no energy left just so I can hope to lose something. Some people have asked me if I'm exercising to much. Well, a few months ago I wanted to know myself so I ate 1500 calories a day & walked for 30 min. a day. That's how I got to the 190's and for some reason I can't seem to get out of them.

	Cal	Fiber	Fat	Carbs	Prtn
Milk, nonfat, 1 cup	86	0	0	12	8
Wheat Chex Cereal, 2 cup (1 serving)	207	7	1	49	6
	293	7	2	60	14
Bread, wheat (including toast), 2 slice	130	2	2	24	5
Kraft Free American Cheese Singles, 1 slice	31	0	0	2	5
Ham, extra lean, (5% fat), 1 slice (6-1/4" x 4" x 1/16")	37	0	1	0	5
Yogurt, Yoplait Light, Strawberry, 6 oz	100	0	0	19	5
	298	2	4	45	20
HEALTHY CHOICE, healthy choice herb chicken, 1 serving	280	5	6	37	18
	280	5	6	37	18
None
	871	14	11	143	52
	1500 - 1800	25 - 35	30 - 50	251 - 362	60 - 195

 I know I know ... so not enough calories. I'm hoping I will find my appetite somewhere today. I have the blahs big time. I don't want to be around anyone ... DH is in the field off & on until Friday ... I'm on the verge of tears ... and the worst part of my day. I'm actually looking into private schools for the kids to go to. They have been fighting so much latley that I just can't take it anymore. I told them today that if they faught anymore they would go to the public schools. They both cried for a few minutes but I shit you not ... less than an hour later they were at it again. Maybe being apart will help them appreciate how good they had it here. I'm hoping private schools won't cost an arm & a leg ... I would hate to send them to the school up the road cause it isn't great. As far as I know crime is very low as is drugs but so are their testing. We are one of the worst in all of Alabama ... one of the reasons I have been sticking it out with homeschooling.

According to Jim

my DH thinks I'm not losing weight cause I'm not getting in enough protien. So over the weekend ... DH says wanna try something that I know for a fact can help you lose weight fast? Ok, I'm a sucker to want to get this weight off of me so I said sure. It's called Pat's Diet Shake. His buddy in Egypt needed to shed some weight quickly because he was getting ready for a school which required he make weight. He lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks. Now being a woman I know I can't lose as much as this guy but I should be able to lose half of that ... right? Anyway, I think it's because the shakes are loaded down with protien ... 34g per serving. I'll be having 4 of them today then a regular dinner tonight ... hubbies home made chili. I had a shake for breakfast thinking oh year a nasty tasting shake ... OMG, it's actually very good.

	Cal	Fiber	Fat	Carbs	Prtn
Regular Coffee, 4 cup (8 fl oz)	9	0	0	0	1
Cream substitute, Coffee-mate fat free, 2 tbsp	20	0	0	4	0
Pat's Diet Shake, 1 serving	230	2	5	12	34
Milk, nonfat, 1 cup	86	0	0	12	8
	345	2	6	28	43
Pat's Diet Shake, 1 serving	230	2	5	12	34
Milk, nonfat, 1 cup	86	0	0	12	8
Apples, fresh, 1 small (2-1/2" dia) (approx 4 per lb)	63	3	0	16	0
	378	5	6	40	43
Healthy Choice Hearty Chili Beef Soup, 1 serving	180	7	2	31	14
	180	7	2	31	14
Apples, fresh, 1 small (2-1/2" dia) (approx 4 per lb)	63	3	0	16	0
Pat's Diet Shake, 1 serving	230	2	5	12	34
Milk, nonfat, 1 cup	86	0	0	12	8
Pat's Diet Shake, 1 serving	230	2	5	12	34
Milk, nonfat, 1 cup	86	0	0	12	8
	694	7	11	64	85
	1,598	21	25	163	185
	1500 - 1800	25 - 35	30 - 50	251 - 362	60 - 195

Ok, I gotta get going ...t he kids break is almost over.

That's it ... I'm done!

I learned this morning that weighing with my clothes on can really add pounds to the scale. I used to weigh all the time with my clothes on & it wouldn't make a difference. But as the pounds have crept on & my clothes have been given more material ... it now adds to 2 pounds. I was shocked to say the least. I was heart broken to see myself in the 200's this morning ... 201 to be exact. Yes, TOM is here & playing holy hell with my weight and my head. My emotions are screwy & I feel like I could have a serious melt down at any moment.

Seeing myself in the 200's brought me back to Hawaii when I looked in the mirror and honest to God didn't know who was looking back. The person I was seemed to have disapeared. I can't ... I won't ever go back to that place again. I stripped to bra & panties (probably a half pound right there) & grabbed my camera. I almost barfed!!! I looked like one of the ladies on Biggest Loser ... that's when it hit me. OH HELL NO ... this is not the life I want for myself or my kids. I don't care what it takes to lose this weight but come hell or high water it's coming off of me.

I'm not going to share the photo with you but I did make a motivation board with the front & side view of myself on it. (it's on my dresser where I can see my disgusting body as I exercise) I added small articles from my WW magazine & will continue to do so as I find a good one. A month from now I will take another front & side view & place it next to the other photos to show myself the progress. Once I make it to 150 I will think about posting all photos. It's just to much for me to share right now.

My goals?

Jeans: Now 16 ... Goal 9/10

Bra: Now 40D ... Goal 36C

Shirt: Now XL (16/18) ... Goal Medium (9/10)

I bought a pair of shoes this weekend ... I've always been a size 8 ... my feet are to fat to wear them comfortably. I want to wear my shoes. I'm noticing that even my tennis shoes are feeling really tight. If I wear them to workout I can feel the circulation being cut off by the end of the workout. How did I let myself get here? I honestly don't know. It's not like I don't exercise cause I do. No less than 4 times a week!!! It's got to be my food. Sparkpeople has me at 1500-1800 calories & I have always said it's got to be to much for my body cause I can never lose weight if I eat more than 1500 so I'm gonna be dropping it down this week & upping my cardio. Water isn't a problem for me so I'm not worried about that part either. As for my birthday on the 25th ... I'm telling hubby I don't want to go out to eat & if he brings a cake home then I'll be going to jail cause I'll slit his throat!

How to know when your DH loves you & is afraid to say your to fat? Last night I was laying in bed having myself a good ole pity party ... minus the cookies & milk that I really wanted. DH comes in to see if I'm ok. I hid the tears ... anyway I tell him that my weight is really bothering me & that I know TOM has brought the gain. He says well it can't be that bad. I said baby ... I went from 197 on Monday to 201 today. 4 pounds in 3 days. The look on his face was all I needed to see ... I swear if he would have been a cartoon character his eyes would have popped out of his head. I told him that & he said he was sorry & wished there was something he could do. I don't guess there really is anything anyone can do for a fat person but listen to them & help them see their not alone. The only problem with that is ... he isn't fat. Never has been & probably never will be. Besides my online weight loss buddies ... I'm on my own.

Food for today ...

	Cal	Fiber	Fat	Carbs	Prtn
Regular Coffee, 4 cup (8 fl oz)	9	0	0	0	1
Cream substitute, Coffee-mate fat free, 2 tbsp	20	0	0	4	0
Banana, fresh, 1 medium (7" to 7-7/8" long)	109	3	1	28	1
SLIM FAST, Chocolate Royale, 1 serving	220	5	3	40	10
	358	8	4	72	12
Slim Fast French Vanilla, 1 serving	220	5	3	40	10
Apples, fresh, 1 small (2-1/2" dia) (approx 4 per lb)	63	3	0	16	0
	283	8	3	56	10
Vegetable Beef Soup, 3 cup	474	12	11	61	34
	474	12	11	61	34
Banana, fresh, 1 medium (7" to 7-7/8" long)	109	3	1	28	1
Popcorn, air-popped, 4 cup	122	5	1	25	4
Vegetable Juice Cocktail (V8), 1 cup	46	2	0	11	2
	277	10	2	64	7
	1,392	37	20	252	63
	1500 - 1800	25 - 35	30 - 50	251 - 362	60 - 195

Exercise for today:

48 min fast walk (4 miles)

30 min latin dance video

Supplements:

1-multivitamin

1-flaxseed oil

1-fish oil

If I don't start losing weight then I'm calling the doctor ... not a military one & say I want and need some help NOW!!!