Its official … my ass is now bigger this month then it was last month at this time. I walked in the office; she pulls out my chart & says ya ready to weigh in? I said only if your scale doesn’t tell me I have gained like my scales at home keep telling me. She got tickled but I was flipping serious. Last month I was 196 … this time 197.2. Up 1.2 pounds! At this rate I’ll be in the 200’s before the end of the year.
So here are my stats that she measures from last month to today;
BMI Then~ 31.6 Now~ 31.8
Fat 44.8% 44.4% this is down
Fat mass 87.8lb 87.6 this of course is also down by .2
Lean mass 108.2 lb 109.6 this is up & she says this is a good thing!
Water 79.2 80.2 up which is good!
So, this is all over with so we sit down & she goes over my food journal. All looks great until I tell her hungry I feel & how jittery I have been the last week or so. I tell her I have pretty much given up my caffeine so I’m not dehydrated. She looks back over my food & tells me I’m not getting enough calories & carbs for breakfast. She said if I’m working out in the morning that could be why I’m so jittery … my body needs fuel. Wait a minute … I thought everything looked good until I said jittery & hungry. She can’t figure out why I’m hungry other than me still not getting in enough fiber. I’m averaging 20 a day & she said I need no less than 25 but she wants to see me at 35-45g per day. She said how do you feel about that & that’s when I let it all out (almost in tears). I told her I feel like I’m a walking fruit or vegetable already & if I had to eat one more serving of either per day I think I would rather starve myself. I said the only thing that all this food has gotten me is another pound heavier. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels for nothing. I said I’m more frustrated & confused this month then I was last month. I followed her rules to the best of my ability. She says well it’s not for nothing cause you did gain lean mass, of course not as much as I had hoped but you did gain more. Now as for the feeling hungry guess what she wants me to do? Eat snack in between meals like she told me to avoid last time. Her idea of a good snack between breakfast & lunch is a 100 calorie pack with a glass of milk. Hello that’s 190 calories! Last month she said that most of my calories were coming from snacking! I swear … I just want to rip out my flipping hair right now.
I came home complaining to DH over it & I have to tell ya, I have the best husband out there. He gives me a big hug & says I’ll love you no matter what. He sayssomehow we’ll figure out how to get it off of me even if it means having monkey love 10 times a day (LMAO … men & sex) or scrapping up the money for an abdominalplasty like I have thought about in the past. Of course I always shy away from this idea cause 1 it’s a major surgery, 2 if I can’t keep my weight normal now then it seems like a waste of money to have the tummy chopped off only to get it back, & 3 of course I’m scared of not waking up. I’m a fraidy cat!
Anyway, my good friend Angela is going to her personal trainer today & getting a meal plan that she has graciously agreed to share. So, I think I’ll try that for this next month & see where that leads me. Hopefully lower on the scale. If not it’s back to the doctors for more testing. There has got to be a reason why I’m busting my hump & not seeing any results! For me to sit in the dietitian’s office & hear her say this is going to be a long slow progress just doesn’t work for me. I don’t expect to lose 20 or even 10 pounds in a month but I do at least expect 1 pound in a month, I think is normal.
Ok, well I’m outa here for a while. No more cardio or weight training for me today, just house work. I’ve already completed a 50 min. 4 mile walk/jog & a 30 min weight training video. I’m pooped but for a change not hungry. Maybe it’s cause I ate less than an hour ago.